Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Frank Guinta Answers Constituent Forthrightly

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Sorry readers, I misled you. There is no actual news that former Rep Frank Guinta spoke honestly and forthrightly to a constituent's question.  You know that's not going to happen, certainly not before election day November 4th, 2014.  Democrats, New Hampshire has same day registration, so if you're eligible you can walk into your polling place on election day, register, vote and avoid a repeat shellacking.

WMUR just came out with a piece showing Rep Guinta answering questions from constituents.  The first question was "What are you going to do for me?" which Rep Guinta pivoted to eradicating ISIS.  But I thought it would be fun to imagine what it would be like if Rep Guinta had given a forthright response.  Here is Frank Guinta's honest and forthright response, as imagined by me:

"Thank you for your question. It might be more accurately rephrased 'what am I going to try to do to you?'

"If elected, I will vote to repeal Obamacare again. If repeal became law, at least 10 million newly insured adults would lose their insurance.  Their kids would too.  The rest of us would discover insurance companies once again not covering our preexisting conditions. The repeal might pass a Republican Senate, but of course the President would veto, so ultimately the repeal will fail. But we'll try it twenty more times just to be sure.

"I will also vote for the Ryan Budget again, which privatizes Medicare, turning it into a 'premium support' system much like Obamacare, which I despise. I can't explain it either. Also, I'm going to try to stop the terrible effects of the one important bill I voted for that became law: the sequester. I'm going to leave all the cuts to programs like Head Start and medical research, of course, but I'll try to restore the defense spending.  The president will veto anything like this that managed to reach his desk, so nothing done here either.

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"I bet my party comes up with some really awful stuff to do to women seeking abortions that I'll be happy to support, being pro-life and all.  Truthfully, it's going to be pretty hard to top the stuff we came up with last time, like mandating medically unnecessary transvaginal probes or forcing a woman to watch her own ultrasound as the operator highlights baby's 'external member.'  Maybe every fetus gets a court appointed lawyer.  But there's that darn veto.

"We'll just shut down the government if we can't get our way through the normal legislative process.  I'm sure voters will blame the president.

"In summary, we're mostly going to pass a bunch of stuff the president won't sign, but sometimes we'll be able to chip away at some programs that help people.

"Oh yeah, if we had followed my party's advice on Syria a year ago we would have attacked Assad, which would have of course strengthened Assad's enemy ISIS. ISIS may have been able to get their hands on Assad's chemical weapons, which would have still been there.

"Did that answer your question?"

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